My name is Jessica. I’m a professional writer, freelance blogger and new member of Abiola’s Passion Posse here. I am really passionate about everything related to family. My previous post for the Love University Blog was “I Confess! ‘The End of My Marriage: Married Roommates.’”

While Abiola is on her media blackout, find her LDR (Long Distance Romantic Relationship)  flashback Love ‘Em or Leave ‘Em advice video below from a couple of years ago. Does absence make the heart grow fonder or does absence make the heart forget?

“Long Distance Relationships: A Cautionary Tale” by Jessica Conars

Romantic relationships between couples are obviously quite complicated. As everything in our lives, they have their ups and downs. One of the worst aspects in a certain relationship is when your partner decides to move into another city or, for some reason, you two are supposed to live separately for an indefinite period of time. In such cases, we tend to feel insecure, lonely and even desperate.

During this period of time, no matter if it is a month, or an year, there are some rules, which have to be followed in order to keep your relationship stable.

In the 21st century, when everything we actually care about is the bad influence of the economic crisis on the family budget, a lot of women have experienced the pain of seeing their spouse on the bus station, waving to them for goodbye. And so did I. It so happened, that a couple of years ago, my husband lost his job and decided to go abroad in order to earn  some money.  At that time, I was trying to develop my current career and there was no chance for me to leave with him. So, we came up with the idea of keeping our marriage alive from a distance. And that is how the beginning of the end came.

Do you send love letters to your partner?

Photo Source: Flickr.

When he left, the first thing I did, was to concentrate on my work in order not to fall in despair.

I didn’t know for sure how long I was supposed to be alone, and in some way it was driving me nuts. I spent the whole day working, even if I was at home. At the beginning, this helped a bit, since my husband was trying to be patient. But after a few weeks, I realized that I had got used to picking up the phone  only when I wanted to say : ‘I can’t speak now. I’ll call you later.’

This was the first, and perhaps the most important reason, that caused my marriage to fail.

  • So my advice to people, who really love their partners, is never to take their beloved ones for granted.
  • This is is a very essential part of relationships between couples, especially if the the physical part of the relationship is missing and the only option for a communication is such unexpected calls.

It took me approximately three months to realize that I was actually destroying my relationship.

But what is worse, as soon as I did, for some reason I became even more insecure and jealous. I not only forgot about my own life, but I didn’t allow my husband to live his. Working or not, the only thing I could think about was how he and his lover (who I was sure that exists) are enjoying a long , sunny walk at this very moment, or are having a romantic lunch in the middle of the working day.

And yes, sometimes I realized how ridiculous these thoughts were, since my husband used to work from dawn to dusk. But I also knew that these are the things that made me miss him so much.

Perhaps this was the reason that my jealousy increased with every second.

What I am trying to say, is that every person needs his own private space, and the biggest mistake you can make, is not to respect it. No matter if your spouse is at work or he’s having a beer with some colleagues, you will have to accept the fact that you’re not the only person in his life.

Long Distance Relationship Stress

Photo Source: Flickr.

Long distance relationships can be really difficult.

People are unique and different, as well we their characters. Some are able of overtaking all the negative aspects and manage to keep their feelings alive. Others, on the other hand, find this as a mission Impossible and eventually end up either alone, or with a different partner.

In this train of thought, the most important things in relationships between couples remain trust and compromises. Otherwise your marriage turns into a torture and trust me, at some point you will simply have to let go.

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Jessica Conars is passionate freelance blogger and writer. Sometimes she contributes for websites like Tenancy Cleaners London and this site.

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