Big conversation today… Let’s discuss weight loss vs weight release, body acceptance, health, fitness goals and sabotage by your loved ones. We don’t live in a vacuum, nor should we want to, right? So what do your closest relationships have to do with your well-being? You’d be surprised! 

Greetings Goddess,

This is a passionate living and self-acceptance love blog. That means that we examine the relationship between love and self-esteem often. I’ve been very vocal about my own issues with body acceptance and weight release.

As a love and life coach, I discourage diets and instead work with women to create lifestyle changes. We are all about mindfulness as a health and well-being practice as well as Healthy at Every Size. I say love your body for the amazing things it can do, not for what it looks like. Emotional eating, excess weight can be about safety and feeling protected in your skin. Once I found other ways to deal with this my body released 55 pounds.

Examining what’s going on in your mind is critical if you are looking to release excess weight from your body. You may find it helpful to break old patterns with love and body image with healing modalities like emotional freedom technique, meditation or yoga.

This advice post focuses on weight loss sabotage in romantic relationships but it can easily be applied to family relationships and friendships. When any member of a “tribe” or couple decides to become healthy, they are re-writing the unspoken rules for the entire group. This can be seen as threatening. Sometimes the sabotage is purposeful and other times it’s on a subconscious level. Communicate openly and honestly with the people you love about their behavior, comments and your health and well being. This is not always easy, but has been critical to my recovery from body image issues and is key to any personal evolution. ONward!

Love Coach Abiola

Are you a couple taking your first vacation together?

Romance and Weight Release Challenges by Martha Delgado

All relationships have ups and downs, good times and bad.  Sometimes the instigator of trouble is something you never would have imagined.

Can Weight Loss Be Harmful to Love?

While losing excess weight is great for your health, it can be harmful for your relationships, with family, friends and your sweetie.  It’s hard to believe, right?  But if you think about it, the idea isn’t so far-fetched.

Weight loss can be stressful – and this emotional battle isn’t fought by the one who needs to release weight alone.  If you are trying to lose weight and get healthy, your significant other has been affected by your lifestyle change too.

Think about it.  Have you traded your nightly sofa snuggle sessions for cardio at the gym?  Did you toss out all the good snack food, leaving the cupboards full of “rabbit food?”  Is your hubby’s favorite restaurant now on the no-go list because it was deemed too “unhealthy?”

Just because you are ready for this drastic weight loss lifestyle alteration doesn’t mean that your partner is.  And if he or she isn’t on board with this new lifestyle change, there could be a bad reaction.

Where’s the Proof?

FitnessA recent SparkPeople study revealed interesting – yet contradictory – information.  Check out what the respondents had to say:

Would you be upset if your significant other gained weight?  Twenty-four percent said yes.  Another 55% said they might be bothered by the weight gain – depending on how many pounds their partner packed on.  That means a whopping 79% saw weight gain as a bad thing.

But the other side of the coin shows the real problem.  While respondents thought weight gain was bad, they weren’t willing to make the weight loss process easy!

  • 34% of study participants said their significant other sabotages their weight loss efforts more than anyone else in their lives.
  • 43% said their partner negatively influences their eating habits.

Why Is This Happening?

The weight loss isn’t the issue.  The bad reaction stems from something much deeper.  Take a look at the most common scenarios that involve weight loss and relationship strife.

1. Fear.

As more and more weight slips away, there are more and more negative comments made about your new body.  You are too skinny!  You look unhealthy!  You aren’t womanly – where are your curves?!

In reality, these negative feelings aren’t directed towards your new appearance.  They are directed at the unwanted change.  Your significant other probably feels afraid – afraid of change, afraid of new competition, afraid of losing you.

In an attempt to rectify this situation, keep change to a minimum.  Maintain as much of your regular routine and rituals as you can.  Help your honey realize these changes are good FOR YOU– and not intended to attract unsolicited attention. He needs to be secure within himself!

2. Guilt.

Your partner complains; you’re never around anymore.  You love your treadmill more than me. The gym is your favorite place in the entire world.

Are you feeling guilty for leaving your honey behind?  Relax.  You have every right to feel good about your accomplishments and the attempts to improve your health.  However, it is important to make time for your significant other too. Your partner is feeling lonely and neglected.  He or she wants to spend time with you.  And that, ladies, is a very good thing.

Instead of spending a big chunk of time driving back and forth across town to exercise at the gym, plan a workout closer to home.  Jog around the block.  Whip out an exercise DVD.  Or better yet, combine your workout and your bonding time.  Play a game of tennis.  Walk through the park.  Go for a romantic canoe ride.

3. Jealousy.

Your significant “surprises” you with dinner – a gooey, fat-filled hamburger that used to be a favorite in your former life.  He pulls you back to bed when you try to slip out for an early morning spin class.

Your partner is probably jealous.  You have found weight loss success and he hasn’t.  You have more self-control and have become healthier.

If your weight loss attempt is being sabotaged by the one you love, stay on alert.  Be watchful for possible dieting attacks.  If you suspect a stop at the ice cream shop after the trip to the park, pack a healthy snack.  If you munch on apple slices, you won’t be tempted to overdo it with the sweet treat.

Weight loss is difficult under the best conditions.  If your partner is making it more difficult, you definitely have your work cut out for you.  Remember to always keep an open mind and stay positive about your efforts.  Don’t turn prideful; remember, it wasn’t too long ago that you were in the same boat.  Don’t let your spouse’s deeper emotional issues bring your weight loss to a screeching halt.

No matter what you are dealing with, there is one surefire way to get to the bottom of things.  Talk about it!  Open up and share your feelings with your loved one.  By working together, you can meet your goals in a physically and emotionally healthy way.


Guest blogger Martha Delgado knows what she writes as the author and her boyfriend recently went through related relationship struggles.  She invested in weight loss injections.  About the time she started seeing results was the time her boyfriend started to get feisty about the vitamin injections.  Luckily, they were able to talk through their problems.  She realized the objection wasn’t to her new figure or even the B12 shots.  Her boyfriend was scared of losing her.

Disclaimer: We do not advocate any weight loss method here besides healthy eating and fitness. This blog and post are not a substitute for medical advice nor do we promote advocacy for any product. Check with your own physician to see what works best for you. Photos courtesy of Flickr, Creative Commons. Featured photo by Ryan G Smith and fitness photo by Vic of Hang in There.

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