Eye Contact for Flirting! How to Use the Laws of Eye-traction

Are the eyes the window to the soul? We show our attraction to each other in many different ways. The most subtle and underrated is eye contact, but it is the most important. Pick up this week’s JET Magazine where I’m giving advice on using body language for attraction. Oh – and why all the pics of Jesse Williams, Chi Town’s finest? Well if you have to ask… -aa
[dropcap]M[/dropcap]any people would consider conversation, or charm, to be the most important factor when it comes to finding someone attractive. However, over the years, countless psychology experiments have proven than it’s more immediate than that. In fact we have often decided long before someone opens their mouth whether we find them attractive or not. We do this subconsciously, through body language and eye contact.

One experiment found that body language accounted for 55% of overall communication. From somebody smiling when they greet you and making eye contact with you, to small gestures such as holding the door open for you. Words and conversation account for only 7% of overall communication.

Eye Spy!

Eyes are reported as being the first thing that is noticed when meeting somebody for the first time, closely followed by their smile. With 80% of human perception being visible, it’s unsurprising that our own eyes are immediately drawn to theirs.

Source: google.co.za via Kristin on Pinterest

It’s no wonder that eye contact is the most powerful signal of attraction when you think about it. It is the most immediate indicator that someone is attracted, or at least interested in you, as they are giving you their full and direct attention.

In 2009 a psychology experiment was reported in the journal of Archives of Sexual behavior, which used eye tracking contact lenses. These were worn by a group of 115 participants (both male and female) as they met some actors and actresses. Afterwards they were asked to rate the level of attraction that they felt to each person they had spoken to.

The results showed that men looked at women they found attractive for an average of 8.2 seconds, while their gaze lasted just 4.5 seconds if they felt no attraction.

The Give Away.

Apart from the obvious linger gaze, there are a few other ways that our eyes give us away when we’re attracted to someone – we go ‘doe eyed’. In other words, this where we like what we see and our pupils dilate, conveniently making us appear more attractive ourselves.

Source: Uploaded by user via Kim on Pinterest

It is thought that ‘doe eyes’ are caused by a relaxing of the ciliary muscles in the eye. This happens because we try to focus on as much of our object of attraction as possible, which causes our vision to slightly de-focus.

Pupil dilation is also thought to be linked to ‘cognitive effort’ – so as we think more, our pupils dilate.

The theory is that if we are looking at a person that we find attractive, our brains become more active as we are conscious of how we can gain and sustain their attention.

Eye Gazing…

In recent years, greater emphasis has been posed on the importance of eye contact in forming a successful relationship, and author Michael Ellsberg has taken this one step further with the launch of his eye gazing parties.

Source: google.com via Carrie on Pinterest

These eye contact soirees work in the same way as speed dating…but without the talking. Single people are paired up for 2 minutes at a time, and in this 2 minute period all they can do is look into each other’s eyes. Once every individual has gone around and spent time with all the others, normally taking around 45 minutes, they are free to grab a drink and socialize with each other.

Ellsberg claims that this quirky take on speed dating has got a very high success rate because electrifying eye contact is more powerful than any charming opening first liner.

If you’re single, why not throw your own eye gazing party and find out?

Source: photos.essence.com via Kylie on Pinterest

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Blogger Steph McLean has a keen interest in psychology, and particularly the ways that people interact socially with one another. She is a regular blogger on topics such as eye contact. She has contributed this article on behalf of Lenstore, an online contact lens retailer.