Hey Loves– due to volume of emails, I will reply directly whenever possible, but I’ll try to answer most general questions and advice here. Sometimes I’m talking to me and sometimes I’m talking to you. Cool? So– here’s how to get over him or her–

After all, this too shall pass, right? Life goes on, and all that—trust me, it really does.

1. Listen to good break up music. You don’t wanna dwell on this step though. The point is moving on and not wallowing. Lina’s On My Own or Let it Go is good, but depending on the degree of your sorrow you can also go for I Will Survive, Survivor, Fighter or something like that.

2. Change your ring tone to a break up song or something that indicates that you shouldn’t answer. Maybe you can even program your phone not to ring when they call– even better!

3. Don’t speak to him or her ever again. Or if that seems to drastic, wait 90 days. 90 Hours? Or 90 minutes at least—depending on where you are in your own personal healing! Lol.

4. Have fun. Living well is always the best revenge. How fabulous is it that you are you? Life is awesome-a-licious. Everyday that we open our eyes is a supreme gift. The muck is just contrast that points out what we don’t want so that we can be so much clearer about what we do want. Do things that make you happy. Sing, dance, pray, go to the movies, enjoy cocktails—whatever floats your boat!

5. Be social. Meet new people. Winter is coming and it can be cold and long! Word.

6. Throw out anything that you have that makes you think of said person. Bonfires are good, although I can’t publicly endorse that here.

7. Do a rampage of positivity and appreciation—the most powerful voodoo in the universe is to wish people well. Send the person good energy. After all, it wouldn’t be an issue if you really didn’t care.

8. Resist urges to leave text messages, emails or voice mails cussing folks out. Write the messages and then delete them just to get them out of your system. Don’t press the wrong button now and get yourself fired or cussed out back! Maybe ask a friend to listen to you vent. Only once or twice though. Don’t take advantage and become a supreme bore.

9. Immerse yourself in your life and become a better person so that you can make better choices. When we know better we do better—right?

10. Excerpt from my novel Dare—“Grandma Ruby’s Spell for Sending Exes to Hell: 1- Create his likeness as a voodoo doll. Yes you can use a GI Joe. 2- Stick the voodoo doll with exactly 47 pins. 3—Bash him in the face with it or stick it in his exhaust pipe.” ; – ) Of course, we don’t advocate this here at abiolaabrams.com or Abiola on myspace!!! Don’t do it, but it is funny. Come on admit it.

Bonus Round:
11. Try not to be annoyed at yourself, pass out or vomit when your TV show comes on and you see yourself giving a secret shout out! Jeez…