It has been an emotional roller coaster of week of victorious highs and horrific lows in the socio-political sphere of our country — and if your letters are correct, in your homes as well.

Today, I give much-needed advice to a desperate reader and you can also find me around the web this week on Mommy Noire talking about the documentary “Dark Girls” and on my Essence column I advice a newlywed who has to be her husband to be intimate with her. Thanks also to Suzanne Oshima who recently interviewed me for her Single in Stilettos series about how women can be sexy and empowered. More on this, soon…

Greetings Goddesses & Friends!

“Love School for Nerds” is my monthly advice segment on Jay Jacksonrao’s popular audio podcast “Nerdpocalypse.” Last month we gave advice to a listener who wanted to know whether she could turn her friend with benefits into a real relationship.

This month we advise a listener who wants to stoke the fires with her boyfriend three times a day. The main issue she cites is that his schedule for doing the horizontal mambo is more of three times a month. Sometimes a couple can just have their timing off. On a more serious note, she wants to know whether she possibly has an addiction or just has a high libido. There are a couple of red flags in her letter and usually if we’re wondering whether we have an addiction, something could be wrong.

If this is your issue, please listen to the audio below and also check out a recent Essence column where I address the issue of sexual addiction in depth. I also have helpful information on the Passionista blog right here. Find the dear Abiola letter and audio link after the jump.

Self-love Coach Abiola

Dear Abiola,

I’m 19 years old and I’ve had 13 partners over the past 5 years. Some were relationship-related and some were not. At the moment, I am currently in a relationship with my live-in boyfriend of 6 months. Yes, we have sex occasionally, but for me just 1 or 2 rounds, 3 times a month, doesn’t cut it. We don’t get to see each other that much because I’m in college away from home and he works crazy hours.
My boyfriend sometimes complains about me wanting it so much. Yes, we do use protection sometimes and I am on birth control so we are being safe. But my question is: Does it make me addicted if i want it with my partner more then 3 times in a day?


Miss Too Much


Dearest Miss Too Much,

Your audio answer here…


Photo by Alison Breskin.

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