[Vintage Abiola] Should I Tell My Man To Stop Being Friends With His Ex? Love Advice (VIDEO)
By Abiola|2016-05-29T15:53:50-04:00December 4th, 2010|
Love Advice: Can I Ask My Boyfriend or Husband to Stop Being Friends or Roommates With His Ex Girlfriend?
The Advice MavenTina Tobin of Luv Em Or Leave Em has assigned me a new relationship question.
This week’s love advice question: Dear Abiola, My boyfriend is best friends with his ex girlfriend. Now they want to be roommates. Should I ask him to end their friendship? Is this appropriate?
My visceral response is girl, you need to tell your man immediately to stop being all up in this chick’s grill.But then we have to get real and look at the facts.
First question: How long have you been with your dude? You can’t immediately start dating someone and insist he break up with his friends. On the other hand, if you are talking about your husband or fiancee you can absolutely ask your man to stop being best friends with his ex if it makes you uncomfortable.Expect him to be resistant because no one likes to feel controlled.
Next question: How long was your man actually with this woman? I used to go into a hot pink rage about my ex and his college girlfriend who were still friends. However, I can now admit that my fear was a little irrational as they had made out once in college but never really dated. Still, I felt like she was this single chick lurking and lying in wait in the shadows of our relationship. It would have better served me to be honest with him about how the situation made me feel.
Our paranoia is not always instinct. Sometimes it’s just fear and lack of trust.For example, I am still friends with my ex and his girlfriends and future wife have no reason to fear. I don’t want him — clearly, or I would still be with him. IF your man doesn’t respect your wishes and honor your feelings, you don’t need to be with him. Watch the advice video!
Hi! I'm Abiola - author of AFRICAN GODDESS INITIATION (Hay House, 2021) and founder of Womanifesting.com. Let's get this party started! This is the home for Big Vision Women and the Shameless Self-Worth Movement and — exactly what you need to WO-MANIFEST your PERSONAL POWER. My mission is to help you STOP HIDING, re-claim your POWER & BUILD YOUR VISION.
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