This week Jay Jackson-Rao of The Nerdpocalypse and Abiola advise a woman who is dating a man and seems to be head over heels for him. However, he got a new job and is moving to another state. Now that their new and budding relationship is in a state of flux, what should she do?! Long distance relationship or not? Subscribe to the Love School for Nerds Podcast on iTunes.

lsfn long distance relationship advice

Dear Abiola and Jay,

I hope you can help me think through this clearly. I recently ended a long-distance relationship with someone because there was no sign of an “end date.” After thinking it over for months, I recognized that I did not see a future with him and ended things.

Soon after, I met a new guy who has made me incredibly happy. Since our first date, we’ve been nearly inseparable. We can talk for hours, or sit quietly together while watching TV. He’s passionate and affectionate, and takes care of himself both physically and life-wise. And, to be completely transparent, the physical side of our relationship is out of this world. He knows exactly what to do to get my body excited and takes it to levels I had never experienced.

It’s early in the relationship, but I think I could love him. I’ve said countless times since we’ve met how much we fit together, even though I realize that this could be the “honeymoon phase” since we have only been dating for about a month and a half. Nevertheless, I can feel myself falling for him each day.

Unfortunately, we just found out a few days ago that he is being transferred across the country to Pennsylvania from Texas for work. It’s exciting because all of his family and most of his friends live in the area. It’s also incredibly disappointing because it feels like everything just started off right and now it’s being ripped away. I broke up with someone because I couldn’t handle the long-distance, but I can’t imagine finding a guy so wonderful and then letting him go just like that without a fight.

The worst part: he refuses to discuss next steps. While he hasn’t outright said “let’s break up,” he hasn’t said “let’s stay together” either. I know he needs time to process this abrupt change, and I want to be supportive, but I also want to figure out where we both stand as far as what’s next with us — especially since I just got so used to using the pronoun.

What should I do?


Not Ready to Say Goodbye



Listen to our answer:


Need Advice? Ask Abiola

Hey! If you’re in need of judgement-free relationship advice, email [email protected] All letters will be kept anonymous, In addition, all correspondence becomes our property to be addressed publicly, but you can be assured that your issue will be treated with dignity. If you are looking for private advice, the option for that route is coaching.


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