Want to relieve your anxiety, nerves or depression? Snuggle!
It’s the joke that sitcoms are made of. They show women wanting to cuddle and men trying to get away from it. In real life, both men and women love to snuggle in loving arms.
The goddess Kali of Passionate U asked me to talk about cuddling for her epic blog carnival. Passionate U features classes in romantic adult education. Let’s jump into Cuddling 101, shall we?
Here we go!
In big cities like NYC, there are both cuddle parties and snuggle parties. Although I’ve never attended anything like this, I totally get it! The basic scenario is that adults come together with other adults for clothed platonic touch with strangers. I know, I know, but before you poo-poo, these events have science on their side. It’s not just for the poly amorous folks. Every time you touch someone with warmth and affection, you both get a hit of oxytocin.
Oxytocin, the healthy oxy, is known of course as the cuddle hormone. Touch is important. Bonding, pleasure and joy reduce inflammation. A baby can die from lack of parental figure coddling. Cuddling with someone you love and care about feels incredible on a primal level. Passion, pleasure, joy and happiness are your birthright. It feels good to feel good.
So if you’re looking to keep your relationship connected, don’t underestimate the power of touch, casual touch. A little snuggling and cuddling will go a long way. A squeeze says, I feel you. Think of a hug where you don’t let go; a bit of shared body language.
If we’re delving into smushing your body into someone else’s, we have to ask whether there’s a difference between snuggling and cuddling. There are lots of opinions on this but it basically comes to semantics. You can cuddle while awake or asleep, snuggle while clothed or naked, and spoon while talking or just hanging out. You can be kissing or watching tv. Cuddling can be sweet, sensual or both — but always compassionate. Have it your way.
These are intimate workshop social events with boundaries. If you’re not in a relationship, grab a platonic cuddle buddy and get your hit of oxytocin.
I happen to be way too germaphobic to attend a snuggling or cuddling party even for research purposes so here’s what I found on the site for Cuddle Party. They stress that they wish to create a safe space for non-sexual touch and affection. They ask, “What if it just has do with being a human being who cares about other human beings? Kindness, compassion, comfort and nourishment.”
CuddleParty.com will allow you to find an event where you can get your snuggle on in your vicinity. Everyone deserves to feel cuddled. If you ever attend a cuddle party, here are additional rules:
- ARRIVE ON TIME: Once we begin the Welcome Circle and orientation, sorry, we can let no one enter late. This creates comfort and safety by knowing that everyone is on the same page about rules and expectations.
- WHAT TO WEAR: Pajamas – nothing too risqué. Think more comfy than sexy. (More drawstrings, less lace! No shorts.)
- WHAT TO BRING: Sorry, no liquor folks. Juice or sparkling cider is always welcome. A pillow or stuffed animal if you like. Otherwise, just bring your smiling self.
There are also parties for people looking for something more explicit so make sure you know where you’re going first!
Deepen Your Love Education at Passionate U with these videos:
- Cuddling: One Man’s Perspective by Ned Mayhem
- Why Intimacy is Important by Dr. Richard Sprott
- Extreme Self Love by Abiola Abrams (me!)
Want more? Check out these educational videos on snuggling and hugging.
Photos: Black Christian News and wechealthunit.org.