This week on Love School for Nerds, we answer a letter from a man who is trying to spice things up in the bedroom with his wife of 17 years. He is frustrated with initiating and be romantic with little to no reciprocity. Check out our reaction and advice.

Dear Abiola and Jay,

I’ve been with my wife for over 17 years, in the beginning our intimate life was room to room, position to position earth shattering.

I’m a romantic who leaves notes, gifts and sexy messages. She’s not.

I’m 43 and my wife is 51. For the past few years our intimate life has dropped. Going from two times a week to three times a month is irritating. I’m the primary one who initiates. I constantly wait for her response to be intimate or when we in the act, I am waiting for her response of pleasure. I ask my wife what is wrong and she says nothing is wrong and that she is just shy.

Help!!!

Signed,

I’m losing focus and have urges

Press Play! Here’s Our “Spice Things Up” Answer (Audio)

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