How to stay emotionally connected and in love.

Hey Rockstars,

When it comes to maintaining a connection or a bond in a relationship many people focus on the physical aspects of the relationship, but any physical connection starts with maintaining the emotional aspects of the relationship. Without being emotionally connected there really is not a physical connection! This is especially true for us as women.

We all need that emotional connection to make us feel as though we are close to our partner and have a good bond between us. Hot sex is fantastic but no amount of sex can create the ‘connected’ feeling that a strong emotional bond can create. It really is that important.

3 Tips to Help You Stay Emotionally Connected by Bellaisa

Whether you have lost the emotional connection in your relationship, or you are just trying to keep it strong, here are some tips to help you stay emotionally connected and keep the spark alive in your relationship.

Couple in Love

1. Keep up with your partner’s schedule.

My husband has a very boring job – at least to me. He’s an accountant. But because a lot of his life is tied up in his job it’s important that I remember meetings, big deadlines, or other important events that may be important to him. I do this to stay connected emotionally.

When he comes home and I ask him how his big meeting went he feels good that I remember something important to him. Plus he gets to share his day with me after I ask, which allows him to feel even more emotionally connected to me.

And of course he does the same thing for me. We both make a point of remembering each other’s days, schedules, and upcoming events so that we can always make each other feel like we care and keep that emotional connection alive.

2. Don’t exclude or avoid uncomfortable emotions in your relationship.

You may think that a perfect relationship involves two happy people all of the time, but that’s not the case. Anyone who is constantly happy, smiling, and laughing is acting and fake, and is probably nt expressing their true feelings to their partner.

There ARE times when anger, hurt, and sadness come in to our lives – and that’s okay! It’s natural to have those feelings, and it’s unnatural to try and keep them away.

If you get made at your partner for having normal feelings like anger, hurt, or sadness then you are telling them that their feelings are not right – and that makes them feel even worse. But when you allow them to have their moments of negativity, and avoid making them feel as though it is completely wrong, then they will feel as though you understand them and their feelings. They will feel emotionally connected to you because you are allowing them to feel their emotions.

For example, I am a woman and I get upset occasionally. It’s true. If my husband tells me that I shouldn’t feel upset then it makes me feel even more upset, and worse, disconnected from him. I feel as though he is saying that I don’t have a right to feel the way that I do, and that he is against me feeling anything negative – which of course doesn’t align with how I feel at the moment.

What I need him to do is to accept and acknowledge that my feelings are real and valid. He doesn’t have to agree with me being upset. He doesn’t have to try and make me feel better. He just has to let me vent and deal with my emotions and not tell me that they are wrong.

3. Understand each other’s differences.

It’s hard to stay connected with someone when you feel like they are acting irrationally or dealing with situations in a wrong way. That’s why understanding the different ways that men and women deal with things is imperative to staying connected emotionally.

Men and women deal with stress, anger, hurt, and other negative emotions differently. One example that we all know of is that most women like to talk when they are upset, while most men like to clam up.

When a man shuts down it can drive us women crazy and cause us to feel disconnected from our men, and make us think that he doesn’t care enough about us to talk – when actually he’s just trying to deal with his emotions and it has nothing to do with not caring about you.

Alternatively, a woman who constantly pushes at her man to talk can drive him crazy by seemingly harassing him about her need to talk and this can cause a huge emotional disconnection in the relationship.

If you want a great place to start learning the communication differences between men and women then start with John Gray‘s relationship classes. They will allow you to really understand each other and connect emotionally as well. He’s the author of the classic relationship book, “Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus: The Classic Guide to Understanding the Opposite Sex.”


To stay connected emotionally you can take the time to remember what is emotionally important to each other and then discuss it with them to allow them to really tell you how they felt. You can also validate their emotions, good or bad, and understand where their emotions and ways of dealing with them are coming from. All 3 of these things will allow you to feel emotionally connected on a deeper level.

Bellaisa writes at the Relationship Circle, a website that has relationship advice for women and men – which usually begins or ends with two words… “take action.” You can also check out her previous Passionista Playbook post: “How To Spread More Love: Big, Fat, Thick, Juicy, Helping Human Love!

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