Hey Rockstars!

Valentine’s Day is coming up, so of course the love, dating and relationship stories are heating up in the news. There’s everything popping off from a controversial minister and his wife promoting their hot book with a bed-in (!!!!) to Harry Potter’s star spotted underwear shopping with mystery man.

I feel the same way about VDay that I feel about Thanksgiving. We should absolutely show love and gratitude to the people we care about every single day of the year. Many of these holidays just become commercialized fodder. For me, however, that doesn’t mean you throw out the baby with the bathwater. We can all use a reminder to spread a little love; and I’m sure that one day a year focused on loving never hurt anyone.

Here are some of my favorite ideas to spice up your Valentine’s Day:

It’s always a good idea to share a high energy activity with someone you are attracted with. The heart gets pumping, the endorphins get going and then your partner will transfer those good feelings and positive energy on to you.

If you’re not usually an adrenaline junkie, all the better. Newness is hotness. Why not go bungee jumping together, sky dive or even just try a roller coaster? That’s not my bag so you’ll have to let me know how it goes but this is a guaranteed rush and you’ll be rushing home to reminisce and further enjoy each other afterward.

We’ve all been on recession watch so some of us have become couch commandos in our relationships. Why not head out to see a show? You can see something fun and unique without spending lots of money.

Get your Groupon or Living Social on. There are serious discounts to be had. You can also check out community theater or a comedy showcase of up and coming talent.

I’m a DIY chick and I always appreciate a carefully homemade gift as an expression of love. It says that the person went the extra mile and was really thinking of me. An easy to create gifts is The Love Jar. Cut out 25, 50 or 100 slips of paper. These can be as beautiful as your creativity allows.

Your Love Jar themes can be  “50 Things I Love About You” or “25 Things I Want To Do To You.” With the idea of a future in mind you can also make “100 Things I Can’t Wait To Learn About You” or “50 Exciting Things About Our Future Life Together.” Pick one of your love notes from the jar every day for a fun experience. You can also present these in a bouquet or any myriad of ways.

Your love is the limit!

 4. Toys, toys, toys.

5. Step up your lingerie game.

Tired of lingerie all together? Wrap yourself in a big red bow!

When you don’t know what to give your lover, the ultimate VDay gift is you. This can be special for Valentine’s Day or just because it’s Tuesday.  Of course you can order lingerie online but the the important thing to remember is that they don’t have to cost a lot to be effective.

Presentation is super important if you go this route. This particular bow is 12 feet of shimmering red satin with stiffened sections that make tying a bow easy. I suggest adding lingerie tape to keep everything in place. The fun will be in the unwrapping, however. Maybe you want to seductively unwrap yourself as you belly dance, lap dance or do a burlesque move. You can also just present yourself and let your sweetie do all of the unwrapping.

You’d be surprised how simple something as the Mardi Gras mask above can increase the steamy quotient in your relationship.

Have an amazing Valentine’s Day. And if no one has told you today, I love you.

[Mask Photo Credit]

P.S. Don’t forget to check me out in the February issue of Essence Magazine talking love, relationships and self-esteem. I’m also a featured Love & Lifestyle Expert on an upcoming episode of the CW’s “Bill Cunningham Show” and check out “5 Hot Topics You and Your Partner Must Discuss” right now at Essence.com.