Do you know the weekly national urban newspaper Rolling Out Urbanstyle? It comes out on Thursday or Friday depending on where in the country you live. Here’s this weeks column:

Dear Abiola,

I work in property management and my boss is super critical about every little thing. You never know what mood he’s going to be in. One minute he’s praising you and the next minute he’s screaming. His criticism keeps me from suggesting helpful new ideas and being my best. I spend most days scared on pins and needles.



Dear Would-Be,

Recently I had a conversation with Sean Combs’ group Danity Kane about criticism and other’s people’s opinions. Some people are still judging them but I found them to be extremely beautiful on the inside as well as talented. These women each have brilliant personal activism agendas. Surprised?

My point is that what other people think of you is none of your business. Investing in other people’s criticism freezes you. I have to deal with critics of my writing, films, weight, hair and everything else. Recently someone posted a mean comment about me online. He called me “phony,” “acting white” and “Barbie.” I left his comment up to prove that the only opinion that matters besides God’s is mine.

Have a strong belief in your center. Don’t invest in other’s opinions even if they are positive. If you believe opinions when they’re positive, you’ll have to believe them when they’re negative. Some love ice cream, some don’t. If everyone loves you, you’re doing something wrong.

ALSO you should NEVER be abused at work by an insecure, raging boss. Ever considered your own business?



P.S. Please check out the geeky goddess loudmouth “Barbie” on page of this month’s Upscale Magazine with Vivica Fox on the cover. Yay!

Abiola Abrams is a BET personality, author, filmmaker and motivator. Email your questions from Abiola’s interactive site or You can buy her debut novel Dare wherever you buy books and watch Planet Abiola on