How to stay in hot, healthy, happy love!

It doesn’t take years for a relationship to grow stale. Routines, stress and worry can sabotage the romance in your relationship. When you first started dating, just being together or doing things for each other was exciting, but just because additional responsibilities have started to add up, doesn’t mean that you can’t keep that courtship glow. It’s very possible to build a happier and steamier partnership with a little effort and planning.

1. Celebrate good news

Turns out, divorce isn’t caused by one catastrophic crisis, but a slow decline in positive interactions. So, aside from just telling your significant other that you’re proud of their accomplishment, show it! Gifts don’t need to be extravagant or expensive, but a bouquet of flowers for her or a home-cooked meal for him will let them know that their hard work is appreciated and create a sense of warmth in your home. Read up on the 5-1 Golden Rule to understand how many good moments make up for one bad one.

2. Keep your standards high

How many times have you been told that your expectations are too high? Well, when it comes to marriage and long term committed relationships, definitely throw that out the window. Standards are behaviors that you hold yourself to and it’s natural that you have similar expectations for your lover. That said, your standards shouldn’t be, “I expect him to always hold the door open for me,” but instead focus on good treatment and communication. People who expect more, get more. So never settle for a second-rate relationship!

3. Stay connected to your family & friends

After you get married, don’t look yourselves into a two-person mindset of “us against the world.” It’s not realistic to believe that you can get all the support you need from one person–nor is it healthy. Do your best to keep your friends and family in the loop. Of course, your soul mate will always be your primary relationship, but it absolutely can’t be your only one. Improve your friendships, and your relationship will benefit.

4. Don’t expect your partner to be your only source of happiness

Your level of happiness lies within you! To burden your significant other with that expectation is unfair. Focus on filling your day with tiny things that you love: maybe it’s reading or gardening or cooking a new recipe. Bottom line, don’t tie your happiness to external factors and take your seat in the director’s chair. In fact, did you know that many psychologists believe that our level of happiness stays relatively stable throughout our entire lives? Sure, a major life event like having a child or getting married may offer a short term boost, but eventually that spike will normalize.

5. Manage your own feelings of rejection and inadequacy within the relationship

6. Do it!

Don’t let the desire fade. It’s been proven that sex not only improves your mood, but also lowers your blood pressure, eases stress and lessens pain. Do you really need more reasons to jump in the sack?

7. Love your excitement!!

It’s important to try and recapture that excitement of when you first fell in love. Make an effort to plan date nights…and not just those double date moments with your other couple friends, and no, taking the whole family out for dinner doesn’t count. Each of you should make a list of activities or experiences that you’d love to try and then every week, you can check one off the list.

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