[Vintage Abiola] Dating A Player? Signs That You're Dating A Playboy (VIDEO)

Is He A Player? Top 10 Signs and Advice; Video below.

Passionista Principle: “All discarded lovers should be given a second chance, but with somebody else.“ ~Mae West

This week’s love advice question: Dear Abiola, How do I know if I’m dating a player? And as a Ladies Man Coach, are you advocating that men become players?

Great questions, Sweet Pea. I think that if a guy or girl wants to be a playboy or playgirl then that’s fine– if they are honest with the people that they’re dating about being in a non-exclusive relationship. Under no circumstance should you be dating a bunch of people – guys or girls- who think that they are in a monogamous exclusive relationship.

When I interviewed Ryan Leslie I asked if he considered himself to be a player because of al of the women that he’s supposedly been dating. And he said, no I’m not a player — because I’m single. And he’s right! As long as he’s honest about what his relationships are with the women that’s he’s dating then he may be a bit of a ladies an but he’s definitely not a player — or jerk.

Be straight up with the people in your life. Your relationship ceases to be between consenting adults when you cheat because you are taking away the consent of the others in the relationship. I’m saying “he” here but I am referring to both MALE and FEMALE players. Maybe instead of being some kind of wannabe player you should consider being in an open relationship. Watch!

Top 10 Signs You’re Dating A Player

1. You may be dating a player if: When he refers to his friends he uses non-gender specific pronouns. Instead of saying his and hers, he says “theirs.”

2. You may be dating a player if: He is suspicious of you with no reason. When other people are cheating or being dishonest in a relationship, it’s hard for them to trust others. [Video: How Do I know I Can Trust Him?]

3. You may be dating a player if: He is paranoid about his phone. He keeps his ringer off around you and makes it a point to take the phone to the bathroom and everywhere else.

4. You may be dating a player if: He has many female friends and homegirls who you never meet. My ex felt like he protected himself because he mentioned all of his “friends” to each other. So the names were out there, but he was actually “dating” all of these women.

5. You may be dating a player if: He calls you (and every other woman) “sweetie” or “babe” to avoid mixing your names up with the other women that he’s dating.

6. You may be dating a player if: He gives you no PDA. I’m not saying you need to be kissing each other on the sidewalk, but if he lets go of you hand in certain public places or walks ahead of you in others then you may be getting played.

7. You may be dating a player if: He has black out periods where he is mysteriously always unavailable, like every Sunday or nightly after 8:30. He’s probably working you around his other women’s schedules.

8. You may be dating a player if: He never introduces you to any of his friends or family.

9. You may be dating a player if: He only calls you after 11:30. You may be just a booty call. [Video: Why Do Women Love Bad Boys?]

10. You may be dating a player if: The only contact he has with you is physical. If he sends you only sexual texts all day long then you may just be the chick on the side.

Be a playboy or playgirl if you want. Just don’t be a dishonest player in the dating game because then you lose and so does everyone else involved with you.