Having a craptastic day? Yeah, I was having a bad day, too. Ce la vie, right? Sometimes life sucks. Things don’t always go our way. Stress happens. So does pain. Suffering is the optional part. So now what? The trick is that the law of attraction will draw more evidence to you that life sucks the longer you focus on how bad or stressful your day is. Check it out!

Hey Sacred Bombshell,

Watch this video if you’re having a bad day for a quick reset button.

Click this link if you can’t see the gratitude jump start video.

The Cure for a Bad Day

Abiola Abrams - Life Coach - Bad Day CureWhat is Living with Passion?

As a Passionate Living Expert, love columnist and empowerment speaker, women often ask me, “Abiola, can we really have it all?” Of course by “all” they mean the killer career, handsome, supportive, loyal and loving husband, 2.5 kids, dream house and the cute dogs or cats.

Living in NYC I’ve found that fewer and fewer women want that picture. I think the media has the story twisted, which we often do. This “Can Women Have It All?” discussion is all the rage again in The New York Times, The Washington Post, Forbes and The Boston Globe.

So today, I’d like to revise our definition of “having it all.” Let’s talking about living the most passionate life possible. This is truly having it all; whether you’re single, married, a polygamist, shacking up or some mix of all of the above. Let’s talk about how to live our best lives.

In addition to several smaller resolutions, I made one major agreement with myself last year when 2012 kicked off. I gave myself permission to experience all of my feelings.

What does this mean?

Most of us employ some means of numbing ourselves to the darker moments of life. We indulge in workaholism (the accepted addiction), alcohol, drugs, food, medication, video games, social media, sex and various other means of trying to obliterate the pain, difficulty and sometimes boredom that is a part of the price of admission for being human. We avoid ourselves.

This numbing gives us a false sense of control. The problem is that it is not possible to selectively numb our feelings and emotions. If you dull yourself to sadness and grief, you also create a screen between yourself and joy. The only way to truly and completely indulge in passionate living is to allow yourself to feel the rawness and the fullness of life. This means being vulnerable.

How much happiness can we stand before we start waiting for the other shoe to drop? How much laughter can we allow before something intercedes to make us frown? When we live with pure passion, or attempt to anyway, we allow ourselves to stand with moments of discomfort and experience them. This is far from easy. People die, disappointments occur, life intercedes. We also step up with our own means of self sabotage.

We think, “ultimately,” I’ll be happy: when I have a better mate, make more money, lose ten pounds, gain ten pounds or find my dream job. Ultimately is always “over there” somewhere, one step removed from where we are right this minute. When we focus on ultimately, we miss our lives. This is it right now. This moment is our eternity. To treat it as such, all we have to do is feel it, lick it, love it, experience it completely, with all of the beauty or ugliness that is has to offer.

Let's Talk Natural Hair Dolls!Living passionately is about engaging all of our senses. It’s the taste of a loved one’s lips, the putrid smell of steaming cat poop, the feel of day old orchid petals on your finger, the sight of his unexpected smile at an awkward moment, the sound of the best music you never knew existed and that deja vu. Deja vu. Living passionately is becoming full of yourself. To that end I have also given myself full permission to express emotions that I previously felt uncomfortable with, like anger.

Living with passion requires releasing the secret fear that we all have; if they really knew me they wouldn’t be here. What I’ve found by living in the moment, surrendering to life in all of its glory is that I won’t break. Make no mistake; being uncomfortable sucks. One day I was so sad that I just took to my bed as if I had a tummy ache. Then, I woke up.

Our fears of success, fears of failure, fears of fear keep on coming but they don’t kill us. It’s funny because all of the things that we submit ourselves to in order to avoid feeling, cigarettes, steak, sugar, often do.

So, can we have it all? Heck yeah! We just need to consider the “all” that we’re seeking. Make sure it’s your picture of the perfect life for you — not someone else’s.

xo, Abiola


More Passionate Living!