I’m a Speaker at The Single Wives Club’s BYOB, Be York Own Boss Business Summit in Atlanta.

About The Single Wives Club: “Est. 2011; Single women preparing to become wives while living happy, healthy, wealthy lives. #SingleWivesWeekend is October 17th to the 19th.

Single Wives Affirmation: I am living the wife life by welcoming opportunities for growth & self-development. Investing in myself. Focusing on the positive. Encouraging & supporting one another.”

Greetings Gorgeous,

I LOVE the Sacred Bombshells over in the Single Wives Club Universe. These brilliant women have built a powerful brand, and this month they take their brand to another level. I’ll be speaking at their BYOB: Be Your Own Boss Business Conference on Saturday, October 18th in Atlanta, Georgia. Find ticket information <here> or email info@TheSingleWivesClub.com.

Here’s what their website says: “You deserve to live the life of your dreams! This luncheon will leave you feeling refreshed, renewed and ready to take over the world!! Why? Because you’re going to leave with resources to create a more healthy, wealthy and HAPPY life for yourself! Our WERKshops include so much more than business tips, we’re including sessions…”

Knowledgeable, and dedicated, Koereyelle DuBose is an educator and entrepreneur. In addition to founding The Single Wives Club, she is also host of a weekly Blog Talk Radio Show, R.E.A.L. Single Wives Radio and monthly web series where they Reveal Everything About Love. V. Taybron is a San Francisco native that decided to leave the nest to explore Atlanta, Georgia. She is the daughter of an old fashioned but loving Minister and has a bit of an old soul. V is the sassy co-host of R.E.A.L. Single Wives Radio and TV, she’s affectionately known as the Queen of all things domestic, providing catering services for all Single Wives Club events.

I joined The Single Wives Club tonight on their #TalkTuesdays Instagram chat to take questions from their tribe.
Below you’ll find the questions they told me resonate most with their tribe and my answers. Then, you can SCROLL DOWN and see our complete chat from Instagram.

Coach Abiola

 

Abiola Abrams, Keynote Speaker

 

Single Wives Club

Questions from the Single Wives Club Community

Q: Abiola, how should women rebuild after a break up?

ABIOLA: My work is primarily about helping women to reinvent themselves after life-altering shifts. We under-estimate the damage that a break up can do. I created the term “post-traumatic love disorder” to describe the condition many of us remain stuck in when we don’t rebuild after a breakup.

For example, a cheating partner can leave you bitter, angry, and paranoid and then when you try to move forward you end up punishing your present for your past. If you don’t heal your post-breakup issues you then can continue to attract the same person over and over again until those issues are healed. After a big breakup you need to sever all ties and move forward. No more phone calls, check-ins, texts, or anything. Maybe you can be friends in the future, but not immediately. Then you want to grieve — really grieve the loss. Let yourself be cared for by those that love you, and learn the lessons of the relationship.

Then BE GRATEFUL because something amazing is coming in your future. You just don’t know it yet.

Question: How do you stay focused in your professional life regardless of turmoil in personal life?

ABIOLA: If you are dealing with personal turmoil, you need to really take good care of yourself so that you don’t end up completely deleted. I would recommend that you adapt self-care practices like meditation, working out, and journaling. ALSO don’t be afraid to GET HELP. Invest in therapy, coaching, or counseling to help you remain focused. We don’t get help nearly enough. You’re not a robot. You are a flesh and blood woman, a Sacred Bombshell. Stop acting like a scared bombshell instead.

Also, very important — do not bring your personal dramas into the workplace! That would be a #bombshellfail.

I write about this a lot in my new book, The Sacred Bombshell Handbook of Self-Love.

Question: When it comes to career creativity, how can someone take her career in a new direction?

ABIOLA: I am giving away a free workbook on Sacred Self-Reinvention and this is definitely about how to reinvent yourself. You can take any career, add your passion to it, and take it into a new direction. Think outside of the box of what traditionally happened in your career. If you’re unhappy as a 4th grade teacher, for example, maybe you can write children’s books, or create a curriculum for kids online. Think about how you can infuse whatever you’re doing with passion and take it  In any career: ask yourself, what do I want to say, who do I need to say it to, why I am most qualified to do this work, and why is it needed at this time?

Question: What is the importance of self-love and its effect on your career/business?

Abiola: There is a Self-Love solution to EVERY problem. Self-love and narcissism are not the same thing. A woman who loves herself will make choices in her career from a place of strength not weakness. A woman who loves herself will notice when she is afraid and will keep moving toward her highest and best good. A woman who is self-loving will have the courage to say yes and no when she means it, rather than being a people-pleaser.

Self-love helps us make confident decisions. This is critical in any business arena. Loving yourself will help you to remember that no one is truly your competition. They may be doing similar things but you are in a lane all your own when you are focused on your purpose — not anyone else’s.

Question: How can someone gain confidence and become a sacred bombshell?

ABIOLA: “Faking it til you make it” is not the same as self-confidence. Being rude and nasty to other people under the label of boss is not confidence. A Sacred Bombshell is confident because she has #FAITH and knows that the same thing FORCE that created the oceans created her.

Having the confidence to step into your greatness is the greatest gift you can give yourself. You do that by being yourself. As the saying goes, “What they think of you is NOT your business.”

I define a Sacred Bombshell as a woman who loves, honors, and cherishes herself unconditionally, mind, body, and spirit. That means loving yourself through your eff ups and mistakes. That means loving yourself enough to walk away when the relationship, job, or whatever isn’t working. That means loving yourself enough to feed your mind, body, and spirit with only the best.

The people who allow into your life and body, the food you eat, and the choices you make are all a reflection of how much you love yourself.

Right now I have women’s empowerment retreats planned in NYC, Mississippi, DC, and Philadelphia. Remember to live like you mean it. Your one sacred bombshell beautiful life is worth IT!!

 

 

be your own boss business conference

instagram chat

 

 

Sacred Bombshell Self-Love Instagram Chat with Abiola

Abiola and other speakers

thesinglewivesclub Welcome to our #TalkTuesday LIVE CHAT with @AbiolaTV She’s sharing tips to increase your self-love, confidence & creativity. For more great info from her, join us at #SingleWivesWeekend where she’s presenting “Rebuilding Your Inner Bombshell” Let’s CHAT! 
  •  abiolatv Calling all Sacred Bombshells! 🙂 Thanks for having me, my goddess sisters. xoxo
  •  thesinglewivesclub Are you ladies ready to chat with@abiolatv ???
  •  abiolatv I’m gearing up for our #ATLANTA experience. It should be incredible. The line up is powerful.
  •  mscaramelj @thesinglewivesclub @abiolaTv what are ways to increase confidence?
  •  thesinglewivesclub Great question! @mscaramelj
  •  abiolatv @mscaramelj Great question… Having the confidence to step into your greatness is the greatest gift you can give yourself. You do that by being yourself. As the saying goes, “What they think of you is NOT your business.”
  •  thesinglewivesclub @Abiolatv how do we rebuild ourselves after a break up?
  •  abiolatv The Single Wives Club attracts beautiful and powerful women.
  •  abiolatv @thesinglewivesclub GREAT question. Let me finish @mscaramelj’s question on confidence, then I have some great tips for #breakup healing.
  •  abiolatv On #confidence: “Faking it til you make it” is not the same as self-confidence. Being rude and nasty to other people under the label of boss is not #confidence. A Sacred Bombshell is confident because she has #FAITH and knows that the same thing FORCE that created the oceans created her. And the WONDERFUL thing is that all of the beautiful#SingleWivesClub ladies know that in their bones already. 🙂
  •  thesinglewivesclub Preach! @abiolatv we all want to be Sacred Bombshells ️
  •  abiolatv The best way to increase your confience is to really get to know who YOU are and then start to make decisions from that place. Most of the time we lack confidence, it’s because….
  •  aprilinspired Good question @thesinglewivesclub!
  •  aprilinspired Hi @abiolatv!!
  •  abiolatv … we are concerned about what other’s think. When you are firmly grounded in you and being you, it helps you move from a more solid place. Take baby steps. Be gentle with yourself. Conquer your world one tiny bite at a time. xoxoxo
  •  abiolatv Ok, let’s talk breakups!
  •  thesinglewivesclub Thank you! @aprilinspired glad to have you tuned in with us
  •  mscaramelj @abiolatv wonderful I love it thanks so much
  •  aprilinspired 🙂
  •  abiolatv To answer @thesinglewivesclub’s breakup q, We underestimate the damage that a break up can do. I created the term “post-traumatic love disorder” to describe the condition many of us remain stuck in when we don’t rebuild after a breakup. For example, a cheating partner can leave you bitter, angry, and paranoid and then when you try to move forward you end up punishing your present for your past. If you don’t heal your post-breakup issues you then can continue to attract the same person over and over again until those issues are healed. After a big breakup you need to sever all ties and move forward. No more phone calls, check-ins, texts, or anything. Maybe you can be friends in the future, but not immediately. Then you want to grieve — really grieve the loss. Let yourself be cared for by those that love you, and learn the lessons of the relationship.
  •  thesinglewivesclub Wow! “Punishing our present for our past” that just hit us over here like a ton of bricks @abiolatv that’s so true!
  •  abiolatv Then BE #GRATEFUL because something amazing is coming in your future. You just don’t know it yet. 🙂 #breakingup #letitgo #muchbetterforyouontheway!!
  •  thesinglewivesclub So we need to keep an attitude of gratitude? @abiolatv
  •  abiolatv Know your worth, know your worth, know your worth!! Say THANK YOU GOD for clearing that person from my life. I don’t understand it, I am crying into my salad, but I am #GRATEFUL!
  •  karlynpercil Hello @abiolatv n @thesinglewivesclub !
  •  abiolatv Hi @aprilinspired and @karlynpercil!
  •  thesinglewivesclub Know your worth ladies
  •  karlynpercil Much better is always on the way. The minute we commit to the “goodbye” -really commit, our true love will show up.
  •  abiolatv Typed this but not sure it went through: The #GRATITUDE needs to be more than an ATTITUDE. It has to be real, in your bones, and under your skin, in your hear,t, and even under your cute finger nails!
  •  mscaramelj @abiolatv u are so inspiring!!! what are ways to “self love”?
  •  aprilinspired …in your soul!:)
  •  abiolatv And some times the true love doesn’t show up right away but it could be because you need a break to learn the lessons, or that’s not the season your’re in. Have faith, do your work, know your worth, and move #FORWARD!
  •  msiwearmi How does one end a situation mentally when there’s been no closure just an abrupt ending?
  •  msiwearmi Makes perfect sense @karlynpercil
  •  mscaramelj @abiolatv hello somebody preach
  •  abiolatv @msiwearmi One of the biggest things we need to do is learn to give ourselves closure. That doesn’t mean we do it alone — but we can spend another year chasing somebody down just for closure.
  •  msiwearmi I agree @abiolatv
  •  abiolatv If somebody pushed you away from an oncoming freight train, it would not be helpful chasing the train to find out why it almost hit you. The same as when a relationship ends without warning.
  •  celebrityglamstarzhairstudio You are so right about #gratitude @abiolatv
  •  mimzybella Hello @abiolatv I have been a fan since “The Best Shorts”!! So I am too excited to chat with you! — I have a question. How do you know when you’re ready to love again?
  •  abiolatv Grieving and learning the lessons are how you give yourself closure. AND love up on yourself. Surround yourself with people who care for you. Let’s learn to take care of our emotional needs — not just our hair and nails.
  •  mscaramelj @mimzybella good question
  •  abiolatv Hi @Mimzybella! Great to meet you. @AprilInspired just tweeted that she’s been on board since my #BET Best Shorts days too, I feel loved. 🙂 Answer coming up…
  •  livelovetiffani @abiolatv I agree with you 100% Once I grieved over my break up & let go I became more open to love myself again
  •  thesinglewivesclub How can we gain confidence and become a bombshell? @abiolatv
  •  mscaramelj @thesinglewivesclub awesome question
  •  cecily0708 Hello @abiolatv how does someone truly heal from self esteem issues from childhood?
  •  abiolatv When do we know we are ready to love again? Sometimes a #heartbreak is so heavy that we think we’ll never be ready. But you really have to get back out there after a period of taking time from yourself to recover. You have to tiptoe back out there BEFORE you think you’re ready because that broken heart will have you saying, forget it, I’m done! And you have to get back out there.
  •  abiolatv It’s not possible to really put the lessons you learned from the last relationship into effect until you start to iinteractwith someone new. I created a one-year program (it’s in my book) called The Goddess Year — which is a time you take after a big breakup. It could be 5 months. But it should NOT be 5 years. We are not meant to walk this road alone. Don’t let fear block your blessings!
  •  thesinglewivesclub No more fears
  •  abiolatv @mscaramelj – Are you the one that asked about #selflove, sis?
  •  aprilinspired Wow! @cecily0708 that question! Everything!
  •  abiolatv There is a #SelfLove solution to EVERY problem. Self-love and narcissism are not the same thing. A woman who loves herself will make choices in her career from a place of strength not weakness. A woman who loves herself will notice when she is afraid and will keep moving toward her highest and best good. A woman who is self-loving will have the courage to say yes and no when she means it, rather than being a people pleaser.
  •  thesinglewivesclub Self Love is everything.
  •  mscaramelj @abiolatv yes I am
  •  abiolatv YES! @TheSingleWivesClub!! RE: Self Love is everything ️️️
  •  karlynpercil My shame associated with my childhood pain contributed to the reason why I had trust issues and why I felt I didn’t deserve love. Once I forgave myself – and got clear on my worth – my husband (got married in May) showed up. Forgiveness is powerful!
  •  thesinglewivesclub What can we expect from you at Single Wives Weekend? @abiolatv
  •  mimzybella Hmmm, thank you! I’m definitely taking this into account. @abiolatv
  •  mscaramelj I absolutely love that answer thank u@abiolatv
  •  a_starr_doesmyhair Yes it is @thesinglewivesclub #selflove
  •  abiolatv @MsCaramelJ We learn to love ourselves the same way we learn to love another person — through small loving acts and decisions that help us to gain our own trust. When you say, I won’t call him, I’ll never hang with them again, I won’t eat that anymore, half the time we don’t trust ourselves because we have LIED to ourselves so much! And you can’t trust a liar even if the liar is you! So we need to be be in self-trust and #SELFACCEPTANCE to bring us toward self-love in a healthy way…
  •  abiolatv Hi @Cecily0708, 🙂 Answer coming up…
  •  mscaramelj @abiolatv Amazing feedback thanks so much can’t wait to meet u at singlewivesweekend
  •  abiolatv @mimzybella xoxoxo
  •  abiolatv Okay, let’s talk about childhood #selfesteem issues hijacking our lives into adulthood….
  •  livelovetiffani I absolutely ️ your energy @abiolatv
  •  mscaramelj @livelovetiffani me too
  •  abiolatv The first thing is to really know we have the issue. So many people are in denial. Don’t let it be you. If 5 people tell you you are quacking, you’re a duck.! It takes courage to look at all of the dramas in your life and say, wow, the common denominator is me. 🙂
  •  thesinglewivesclub Awesome @abiolatv we love you! What can we expect at Single Wives Weekend?
  •  abiolatv The next thing is to go back to the source of where the belief system came from. When did you decide you were worthless? When did you decide that you were not enough? I had a belief and fear that I was an eff-up. When I examined where this issue came from, one of the sources of several was my dad yelling at me after I messed up the money and orders of some school Christmas card contest I asked him to sell at work! When my 10 year old self made that decision, daddy thinks I’m not good enough, she meant well. I was making the decision the best I could at the time. The key is to NOT let the little 10 year old NOW run my life. After you find the source of the issue, which is usually tied in with a parent, caretaker, or traumatic event, challenge yourself to come up with other reasons for the belief than the one you made up. For example, my father could have been stressed, or tired, or anything, but the belief doesn’t have to hold true all these years later.
  •  meltdownmomma These comments and insight are so beautiful. I am definitely quoting you in my talk to the women in our church.
  •  abiolatv Most of all, invest in SUPPORT. Get to a therapist, coach, or counselor. That is the most self-loving choice you can make!
  •  abiolatv @meltdownmomma Thank you! xoxo
  •  mscaramelj @abiolatv mental health is VIP
  •  abiolatv #SingleWivesWeekend is going to be amazing. You can expect a #POWERFUL workshop and talk from me on how to #REINVENT yourself. How to set a reset button at any point to become the woman you were born to be!! 🙂
  •  thesinglewivesclub Wonderful chat ladies! We are out of time but please follow @abiolatv for more Sacred Bombshell tips! Get your tickets for Single Wives Weekend to see her live and in the flesh at TheSingleWivesClub.com
  •  abiolatv I define a #SacredBombshell as a woman who loves, honors, and cherishes herself unconditionally, mind, body, and spirit. That means loving yourself through your eff ups and mistakes. That means loving yourself enough to walk away when the relationship, job, or whatever isn’t working. That means loving yourself enough to feed your mind, body, and spirit with only the best.
  •  abiolatv See you all in ATL! xoxox
  •  cecily0708 @abiolatv Thank you so much!
  •  abiolatv @livelovetiffani thank you!! xoxo
  •   thesinglewivesclub Thank you ladies!!! Thank you!!!@abiolatv we love you can’t wait to see you in ATL
  •   abiolatv @cecily0708 You’re welcome, sis. All love and all support!
  •   karlynpercil Love your definition of #SacredBombshell@abiolatv Thank you @thesinglewivesclub 🙂
  •   meltdownmomma These comments and your insight@abiolatv are phenomenal! I will definitely be quoting you at our session with the women in our church.
  •   mscaramelj @abiolatv thanks so much
  •   aprilinspired Thank you @abiolatv and@thesinglewivesclub!! Blessings!!
  •   optional7 Alot said..@abiolatv

 

See Abiola Abrams Speak in Atlanta

 

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