Settle-Free Dating Advice from Tinzley on Mommy Noire

This week on my Mommy Noire column, I spoke with Tinzley Bradford about single mothers and relationships. Head over there to see what she had to say on the controversial topic on this link.

Keep reading to see what she had to say about love in general. These are the interview outtakes…

Hello Sacred Bombshell,

Tinzley Bradford has a soft launch of her new book on Valentine’s Day and the book is coming to us LIVE for Women’s History Month in March. I am so excited and look forward to “The Settle-Free Dating Method for Single Women.”

Whoo hoo! Check this out. I love this conversation!

Our Sacred Bombshell Dialogue

Abiola: Goddess Tinzley! People love your blogs and videos. The title of your blog “And you want to see my feet” comes from a hilarious story about a guy who wanted to judge your feet when his life was a mess. Why did you move into the field of love advice?

Tinzley: Oh, it was easy! (laughs) Dating, dating and more dating — and having some of the most horrific dating experiences over and over again. I thought people should hear some of my dating horror stories. At first it was for pure humor because some of the stories you wouldn’t believe! Then it became serious for me because, over time, I realized I made many poor decisions while dating. I wanted to share things that would help other singles hoping to find true love avoid grief by not making similar mistakes.

Abiola: Many single moms may feel a little desperate, like they need to take who they can get. What are your thoughts on this?

Tinzley: I one hundred percent oppose to this way of thinking and this is exactly why I wrote this book. We are more and we deserve more from the men we choose to date. We should never settle for anyone who does not love, appreciate, value and respect us for who we are and exactly as we are.

When we settle, we’re not only hindering our own chances for true happiness, but we’re hindering our children’s chances for true happiness as well. Making poor dating choices can have long term effects on not only your life but your kids too. This is why settling for any old guy is a huge no-no.

Abiola: Why do you think women need no-nonsense advice? Why do smart women make foolish choices when it comes to love?

Tinzley: We all need no-nonsense advice, even me! I had to learn the hard way. No-nonsense advice will save women from years of bitterness, unhappiness, and poor dating decisions. Good advice will also save women from settling and even abuse. Women who are smart often make the worse love choices because they feel they already have everything together and all they need is a man. The problem is we override what we KNOW our hearts and go forward anyway.

Abiola: How did you learn to love yourself — and how do you recommend moms teach their kids to love themselves?

Tinzley: I learned by doing. I started to realize that even after being hurt that too passed and wasn’t the center of my world anymore so it taught me to take more time out the next time and to put myself first. I also realized none of us are the same, we don’t look the same, we’re not built the same. I had to learn to embrace my body, my figure, my skin complexion, my hair texture, my style, fashion, car I drive, spot I reside in…. I had to learn to be happy with me and once I realized just how valuable I am, I was completely in love with myself and no one or nothing would ever change that! You have to take everything I just said and tell it to your child. It may not seem like they are listening but trust me, they hear you and they are many times listening.

Abiola: What gives you the courage to keep going when you’re feeling stressed or afraid?

Tinzley: I keep my eyes on the prize. I know that hard work pays off and have seen it first hand work for not only me, but for many of the people around me. I’ve seen it happen for you. (Smiles) Not to mention I love writing, sharing and spreading joy and hope being that voice of reason women need to hear. I enjoy seeing how I can brighten a broken woman’s darkest days especially after a bad relationship break up. This is what I was made to do!

Abiola: I have reclaimed the word “bombshell” to mean a woman who loves herself mind, body, and spirit. What makes you a bombshell?

Tinzley: I’m a bombshell because I love EVERYTHING about myself, my mind, my body and my spirit! I’m not a quitter I’m a go getter! I chase my passion with all that I have. I never give up until I reach my goals.I don’t let a man define me nor make me feel less than worthy, I know my value. I can do anything I set my mind to and I know this. I have the best relationship with God and I’m not afraid to speak on it. Yes, I’m a bombshell.

Abiola: So, what do men need to know about dating single mothers?

Tinzley: Men need to know that it is an already-made family, a complete package deal, and there will be NO competition. Your child comes first — point blank period! He needs to accept your body if there are still signs that you’ve given birth and love you from head to toe; stretch marks and all. Many single mothers are a little insecure and he will need to be open minded to this. He should come ready to offer love and confidence that he’s not there to judge you but he’s there to help you and be than man you’ve been hoping for.