Pleasure, sensuality and dysfunction… 

Hey Rockstars,

Lately there’s been a great deal of chatter about women and our intimacy. Luckily, some great folks are on the case. I was also invited by Jamye Waxman to be a part of a new site called A “gasm” is simply defined as a physical reflex that is usually pleasurable consisting of a series of involuntary muscular contractions, but it really is so much more.

So, what’s the deal?

study published last year found that 54 percent of women admitted to faking it. Meanwhile Web MD says that 10 percent of us have never even experienced the full pleasure monty. A paltry 30 percent of us has ever reached a climax through intercourse.

The G-Spot

The G-spot is said to trigger the most intense pleasure ever, including female ejaculation for some of us. A few years ago doctors at the University of L’Aquila in Italy claimed that they had found definitive proof of the elusive G-spot. They concluded that it exists but not all women have one. That’s that, right? Not so fast. This year, a Yale urological surgeon said that there is no proof at all that the mystical spot exists. Oy vey.

 Female Sexual Dysfunction?

This is complicated by the fact there there’s a  supposed medical issue called FSD, Female Sexual Dysfunction. They claim that 40 percent of us experience dysfunction. Hmmm. I say don’t be so quick to throw every issue you have under the Female Dysfunction banner. Sometimes we have a high libido. At other times we could care less. That’s natural. FSD includes everything from low or no desire to vaginal dryness. Women have written to me with a self-diagnosis of FSD because they can’t have vaginal orgasms or are experiencing vaginal dryness. This is all completely normal, my bombshells!

So Now What?

Before you try medication please, please, please examine your life at the moment. If you are experiencing less desire and you are stressed out, this is natural. Find ways to reconnect to your body like self-pleasure, walking, dancing and working your body out. Feminine dryness can often be helped by increasing your water intake.

Be willing to release the story of what should be happening in your bedroom. No more shoulds! Our bodies react differently. Let simultaneous myths go then be free to experience ALL pleasure your body brings you. Shift your perception.


Ladies, think of this as a gift you give yourself rather than something that a partner makes happen. Those little differences can have you swinging from the rafters. Whoo hoo! I first wrote about this on my Yahoo Shine column. If you can’t see the video, click here.

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