How to Feng Shui for Love! Activate & Declutter for a New Relationship

You have been on a quest for love. Maybe your friends are hooking you up with blind dates or you’re hanging at clubs and online dating. However, the love you seek is still not in your life. Feng Shui for Love: 9 Tips to De-Clutter for Relationships; Bombshell Academy Day 24 of 30…

Passionista Principle: All of your spaces are sacred, your inner space and your outer space.

Hey Bombshell,

Today’s Bombshell Academy lesson is how to feng shui for love and de-clutter your relationship life.

So you want love in your life. Beautiful. That’s part of why we’re here on the planet; to love each other and be loved.

You are asking for love or at least you think you are but are you making room for love?

When my relationship of over 10 years crumbled, I found myself suddenly single in my early thirties and having to set up a new solo household. I was living single and my house reflected it. My favorite single girl painting was of a cute chick in stilettos grabbing a cocktail while her pet kitten played. This art print completely reflected my fun, single lifestyle and it hung proudly in my kitchen until recently.

When I decided that I finally wanted to be in a relationship again, this painting had to go. Why? It was a great piece of art but reflected bad feng shui for the more permanent romance I was seeking.

Feng shui is the ancient Chinese art and science of balancing aesthetics for positive qi, which is life’s energy flow. You may be ready for love but your living space might not be. There are several things that you can do to optimize the energy of your home for love.

If you can’t afford to hire a feng shui practitioner right now to balance your qi, here’s how to get started.

Easy ways to optimize your home’s feng shui for love:

1. Check your visual images.

Take a look at your art and photographs. Do you have a lot of woman by herself images in your art and photographs? If there are photos of you or others alone, this may be bad love feng shui. Also, your art work should not reflect misery unless this is what you want to attract into your life. Replace your solo images with duets and you will probably begin to fare better in your love life.

2. Check out your bathroom door.

On a recent trip to Woodstock I ran into Gabrielle Alizay, the author of “Feng Shui for the Rest of Us.” I asked her to share one thing we could do to increase love in our homes and lives. Her simple love feng shui advice? Close the bathroom door. Alizay said that an open bathroom door throws the balance off and our love energy literally gets flushed down the toilet. Yikes. Similarly, any drips or leaks should be fixed immediately.

3. Make room in your life.

Make room in your life for love. Make physical room in your closet and dresser drawers for your partner. Have two night tables. Nature hates a vacuum so leave space for positive love and relationships to flow into your life.

Making REAL Room For Love:

4. Clear emotional baggage.

You can’t let new love in if your ex lovers are still under the bed figuratively or in the bed with you literally. If you are still angry or holding grudges toward exes or others, you need to forgive them. Forgive them for your health and for the sake of your future. It is not fair to saddle new partners with the residue of old relationships. When you are still holding on for whatever reason, you are still in a relationship with your ex even though they may be long gone.

Do the work, forgive, get help, get healthy. This is key if you want to feng shui for love.

5. Make room for love by making time.

We say we want love but does our schedule reflect that we’ve made room for love? You should have a full life; friends, family, outings, events, career and the whole nine. After all you’re not waiting for someone to complete you. You should already be complete. However, if you have no room in your life between work, family, friends, how do you expect love to fit into that schedule? Where is the flexibility that love requires?

There are many different types of hoarding. You may be holding on to who you are and hoarding your old life, afraid to let go of who you are for who you might become. If you hold out a closed fist you can’t lose anything, but you can’t let anything in either.

Go out, live your life and have fun but find the flexibility.

6. What are you hoarding?

Hoarding is an act of fear and it can be deceptive. Some hoarding seems noble. We tell ourselves that things have sentimental value and sometimes they do. But every single bit of clutter in your life is talking to you. How can you hear love calling you if the energy of the things around you is shouting so loudly?

If you have things in your life that you are not using, it’s because you bought them for the you that you imagined you would be or the you that you once were. Either way, you are not leaving room for the you who you are right this minute. And love takes place in the present moment.

If you want to feng shui for love, you should give things away that are no longer actively feeding you. Last summer, I gave away 400 books and a half wardrobe of clothes. Yes, it hurt, but maybe those things can nourish someone else instead of just taking up room in my life and in my heart. Make room for blessings to flow to you.

The feng shui experts say literally make room for the person in the drawers and the closet. Nature abhors a vacuum. Make room and it will be filled.

7. Are you with Mr. Right Now? Loving the one you’re with?

I am a big advocate of women dating promiscuously and loving monogamously. (Dating does NOT mean sex!) I am writing about it right now in my upcoming book. However, this doesn’t mean that you are having sex with every Tom, Dick and Jane. It doesn’t mean that you are having sex at all.

There is a time and place for everything. That’s why I advocate for the Goddess Year the year of living singly. But if you are looking for love and your love cup — or parts of your body — are filled to the brim, it ain’t happening.

8. Other love blockers.

Love blockers include stuff that belonged to your ex or the life you had with your ex. The jewelry, bedding, pillows and sheets. That stuff has their sweat and DNA on it.

Friends who don’t want you to move forward can also be love blockers. “Be single with us.” They have a picture of who you were and may have no idea of who you are. We evolve sometimes faster than the people around us can catch up.

9. If you want love be loving.

Give what you want to receive. Want love more for someone else than you want it for yourself. Express that love with your family, friends, pets and the people that you already have in your life. Why? How you do anything is how you do everything. If you’re walking around mean, grouchy, selfish and bitchy today, then you can’t miraculously be generous, open, free and loving with someone tonight.

I am a big fan of being single and selfish for time periods but I am talking to those who claim they are looking for love. When you are giving love to others and your love cup is full, then you attract full love into your life.

Live your life and remember that no one will complete you. You are already complete. I see you happy, healthy, positive and madly in love.

As I always say be good; and if you can’t be good be safe.