Let’s talk about how to deal with hurtful, boundary-crossing, negative comments aimed at you. This can be difficult to deal with, especially when the comments come from friends or family…
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Ugh! Dealing with Negative Comments
Happy Almost Gratitude Day~
As I was putting together the goodies for your SUPER DUPER Black Friday Sale, I noticed how LIGHT and FREE I feel this year going into the holidays.
A BIG reason is I have RELEASED myself from having to spend time with people who are mean, thoughtless and negative toward me.
I wanted to give you a little guide if you’re not there yet and may be seeing some folks that make you wanna do a Thanksgiving Clapback!
It can be difficult to deal with negative comments. Whether they are on a blog post you have written, part of a social media discussion, or said during a dinner conversation, negative comments can be hurtful.
Instead of doing the silent steam over the hurtful comments or getting angry and striking out, see if any of these 6 tips feel in alignment:
- Avoid Arguing.
Determine that you will not engage in an argument with the person. Although your defenses may be up, and you may feel like raising your voice and telling them just how awful they are, try to stay calm and objective. Let them know that you are receptive to what they have to say but that you will not tolerate unhelpful comments or belligerence.
- Tell the Other Person They Have Crossed a Boundary.
Some people mistakenly confuse rudeness with honesty. Maybe they don’t even know that what they said to you was hurtful, negative or offensive.
How much emotional labor you choose to invest in sharing in your feelings depends on how important the relationship is to you.
If you are not invested in the relationship, you may just want to say, “I’m not sure that you realize it, but what you said was negative/hurtful/offensive.”
3. Ignore Them.
One of the better ways of dealing with negative comments is to simply ignore them. Put the comment into perspective by asking yourself if it is true, and if it isn’t, then it’s easy to shrug it off and ignore.
4. Be Confident.
You can respond to the negative comments in a mature way that is confident and constructive especially for those comments that are mean and meant to hurt you. By responding with confidence, you are showing that you are in control of yourself and will not tolerate abuse from anyone.
5. Talk It Out.
If the comments are happening in person, in real life, or from someone you know, you can take the opportunity to talk to the person. Sometimes comments and remarks, while negative, can be misunderstood. By approaching the person with an open mind and attitude of wanting to learn more from them about why they said what they did, you are offering them an opportunity to explain themselves. It is also an opportunity for you to tell them privately that the comment hurt your feelings. This will go a long way toward making a relationship better.
6. Talk to a Friend.
Sometimes talking to a friend about the situation can be a useful way to release your hurt and anger and to get someone else’s input on the situation. This also gives you space and time away from the comment, and talking it over with a friend can help you see things more clearly.
Remember that your friend is not a therapist, however, and you should be responsible for the energy you bring to the conversation.
Some people will argue that negative comments can be helpful. You may agree or disagree with this. The important thing is that you give yourself some space and time to think before you respond to any negative comment. This will give you the opportunity to see things clearly, talk it over with a friend, determine if the comments are important enough to warrant a response from you, or to put one of the five tips to use.