The course of true love almost never runs smoothly to paraphrase William Shakespeare.

My Essence column this week addresses a reader who is scared to buy condoms. My Mommy Noire Love Class delves into your most asked questions on the Big Oh My Goodness.

Right now, a reader is courageous enough to share with us her terrible experience with a dating disaster… -aa

“When The One You Love Has Your Bank Account” by Stacey Barlow

Well, the statement “A fool in love is a fool for life” is false because everyone has gone through the “I can’t see the forest for the trees” syndrome of falling in love. Aren’t the trees supposed to be in the forest? We have all been there to the point of hoping love is love and it is real.

With love being real, one has to be real with him or herself to stay out of trouble and maintain a decent mindset to move on.

Go Getter

I am the type of woman who when I desire something, I find way to examine the situation, do my research and whether it involves money~ I will price the item and come back another time to buy. You are a beautiful person so why not go out and get what you want? You can’t sit around fearing what others would think when all you are doing is following your heart. In this case, a man or a woman has peeked your interest but, in the first conversation, things seem strange.

I met a man on a website.

Things were going to good for about a week and a half. He was telling me what was going on with his ex-wife and his new job presumably in Nigeria.

I had my friend to speak to him to see whether he was legitimate. By then, I started having feelings for him who on the website said at first he was from Texas City, Texas then changed his status to Maryland City, Maryland to San Diego, CA. Questions were asked by my friend and his answers differed from what he told me (red flag).

Badoo (Bad You)

As time went on, being on this this website www.badoo.com, my newfound friend and I had now switched to yahoo chat to continue talking. We have been talking over a month now, and he said that he was going to help me with my bills. He needed bank information to send me the money. What he said didn’t sound right to me because every place has money orders and Western Union. I must have turned into Willie Foo Foo because he was so convincing that I gave him what he asked for.

With so many errors on his part, he insisted that I called my bank to check out what was going on. I explain to the banker what the problem was, and what she told me brought tears to my eyes.

Mind you that this man is supposed to be in Nigeria. The banker said that the information I gave to her is not where the activity was coming from.

I quickly then put a fraud alert on EVERYTHING. When I brought it to his attention, he avoided the conversation saying that I was making him angry. He not only wanted me to get the money that he said he was going to give me but, also to send his ex-wife the money for his children saying that he has nothing to do with her at all because she has remarried.

When a person tries to get you to send money to another individual after paying you, that is called money laundering. After that plan failed for him, he tried something else to get into my information.

Fraudulent Behavior

I received a call one morning from a flower shop. The attendee asked me a few questions, and then asks whether I knew a Chalse Brown? I responded “Yes, I do.” The woman on the other end of the phone said that he had given my name and number to make it look as if I ordered flowers, and that I was the cardholder.

She went on to say that he had six others down with their names saying they were cardholders as well. I told her that I don’t have any credit cards.

She asked me whether I had a number where he could be reached. I gave her the number and thanked her for her time. That call bothered me enough to call back to discover where the flowers were delivered from. The call was from part of Virginia. I brought this situation to his attention . . . again he gets angry saying that he made a mistake. How can you make a mistake giving information to someone else trying to get into your money? I opened my heart to him, now I have to find a way to close my heart. At fault of my own for trusting him, I must decide to do something to keep him from hurting anyone else.

Scammers are everywhere. Not only for your money but, for other things as well. Men who say they are NOT married and they really are . . . I received a call from a man’s wife. He told me that he hadn’t been with a woman in eight years. I gave her the truth, he sends me a note saying he is sorry he messed up my life. He didn’t mess up my life. I told him that he was messing up his own life by not being real with others.

As my pastor once said, “You literally have to treat meeting someone like putting in an application. Ask questions.”

Today’s blogger Stacey Barlow is a three time award winning poet, author, TV and internet radio host. Stacey has two published poetry books, and presently writing her biography. She resides in Texarkana, Texas. Find her on Google +.

More Passionate Living

Featured photo source.


You may also want to watch my recent inspirational interview with “Awkward Black Girl” star Issa Rae.