omg. i am so excited about the iowa win. but then i am totally afraid to be excited. but then my mom tells me that i shouldn’t say stuff like that around other people because she’s paranoid like i am, or i am paranoid like she is. but then here i am writing about it in my blog.

i am scared to get happy because i believe that america is still too racist to elect a black man. but then this kind of negative thinking goes against everything i believe in. and then it makes me sad to feel that way, and makes me sad that i really believe it’s true.

but then this iowa win gives me total hope that maybe people may be able to vote on merit, somehow. i dunno.